The beginning of 2017 and a little thereafter has been a little different for me and seems to have been for a few others I’ve been in contact with as well. It’s been a time of deep reflection for sure. I mean listen, I did some pretty cool things last year 2016, that I’m super proud of. But this year I wanna to up the ante, I mean as we all do every year right? I wanna do those things that I know for sure I could have done better and the things that I’ve been dragging the shit out of my feet on.
Quick Disclaimer: This is a journey of my life as a creative so if you’re not into me talking through my shit, then this post or section of the blog probably isn’t for you.
Going into 2017 I was coming out of some type of dating “situation” with someone, where in the beginning of course it was absolute butterflies and bliss. Lol. Seriously all the feels were there and I, as we all do, thought, could this be it?!? Nonetheless, it ended in like a matter of a month or a little bit over and well the blissful part only lasted a week, maybe a week and a few days. Like it literally did an about face on my ass. Aaaaaaand I’ll admit, I still pulled a little bit of it with me into 2017 but thankfully I can say that “situation” is over. I wish it could have worked out but it didn’t so moving right along. But like most people desiring of companionship, that was one of the
small big things that I reflected on. Like okay 2017 like for real… Am I really about to go into another year single, again??? (Insert all the distressed face emojis here, like all of them) Lol. Not really funny.
Not only was I coming into 2017 single, but I was also going BACK to a job that I am not passionate about. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful for the steady income and to be able to provide a decent life for myself, however the line of work just isn’t for me. It’s not my purpose. It’s stressful and leaves me feeling depleted and unfulfilled. I just felt like I cannot do another year where my work life AND love life are completely dry AF, AND still dragging my feet on my personal endeavors too?! There’s no satisfaction in that, AT ALL.
But, come to find out, in talking with some of my girlfriends, they kinda felt the same way about the start of the new year. Grant it their love lives don’t mimic mine 😩, but career wise neither seemed to be fulfilled.
Okay side note: Can we just add the fact that I turn 34 literally this month so it’s like double reflection for me. Like New Year, new age… I’m seriously about to be 34 years young! Let’s get this shit called life popping, please?!? So here I am.. New Year, new age, and seriously in need of a new hair style, or new color, or at least get these ends trimmed 😩. No seriously but back to the conversation about me and my “good, good girlfriends”(@iamlonniebee voice).
I remember when I got back to work a few weeks ago, and as I normally do on my lunch, I went to chat with one of my work besties. She says, “you know, before we left for the holiday, I know I said my attitude about work would be different, like better when we came back to work, but biiiiiiiih it’s not 😳😩! I still feel the same way.” Funny, but not really. I went back to my desk and like always, my mind was just a-going with what seemed like a million thoughts. Mostly, I’m relieved and like thank you God it’s not just me feeling like a depressive Debbie downer about the new year but okay okay sooo how can we fix this, what’s the solution? Love life can’t be on zero and career life on zero too. I need balance.
Okay another side note: I’ve literally tried writing this post like three or four times, each time saying like what’s the point you’re trying to make, knowing my point in my head but feeling like I wasn’t able to clearly project it 😩. So then the other day it hit me. I’m driving home from work and it was, I believe the same day I decided to finally move on from the “situation” I was in. I’m like okay I’m leaving this person alone, like just move forward. I sent my follow up text earlier that morning. You know that text you send after you’ve had time to think about it and sleep on it? Yeah that one. Lol. So I’m driving home and I have a thought, hmmmm all those things that you’re looking to someone else for, why can’t you be that for yourself? (Straight face. Did I really just think that?) Yes, like the loyalty, wanting somebody to be there for me, protect me, make me feel secure, love me unconditionally, being consistent with me in good times and bad, wanting somebody supportive, hell just wanting somebody that’s simply a nice person with good intentions and not mean as hell (ugh)… I’m sure I could go on but, those things I said to myself, why can’t I be that for ME?!?! Listen, I’d never had a thought like this run across my mind and quite frankly it was kinda weird, but I just kept driving home and thought about something else. So then fast forward to me eating dinner the same night and I had another thought that like seriously was even more weird and scared the absolute shit out of me because I never ever envisioned I would reach this space in life. I say to myself, “no matter if I ever find love in life, that’s okay, as long as I’m living my purpose.” 😳 Yeah……….. I said that. Pretty bold statement…… And I mean a pretty bold one for me to make because I’ve always dreamt of marrying the love of my life and having a little family. I had a few people, one even being the work bestie, to tell me it was this thing called “evolution” lol, and that I was evolving. Lol. In my mind I’m saying, and that’s a good thing, like to have that revelation? Lol. In other words, yes! 🙄
“It is the awareness that you were given a purpose at birth. Satisfaction in life comes from living and breathing that purpose. All that other stuff is icing. Your purpose is your cake.”
•Raylene Driver James•
Kinda dope though right?!? I mean I thought that was a profound way to put it. I believe that’s a 100% true statement. I’m almost positive that if I were with the love of my life, and we had our little family, there would still be a gaping hole if I wasn’t actively engaged in something that fulfilled me. I know for some people, a partner, and kids may be enough, but for me,
I just require more out of life. Scratch that, I owe more to myself and to life and I want more!
And so my question that initially brought me to the idea of this topic was, how do you maneuver through life and stay motivated while you’re working on manifesting your dreams and goals? Like what should you be doing? Sometimes things don’t seem to be moving fast enough. Sometimes we aren’t focused enough on putting the required work in. I know for me, I wanna see results fast, but life don’t always work like that. So how do I make sure I’m aligning myself up in the right position to create/manifest the best version of me and the best life that I want?
So I posed this question to my friend at work after I left her office and here’s what she had to say. I think she made some very valid points.
- On the Importance of Balancing Love and a Career: Your job may be stressful but your love life can’t be too. It’ll make you become less focused and productive in both areas. When there is a nice balance, you have something to look forward to and get excited about when things get rough at work or vice versa.
- On Having/Finding an Accountability Partner(s): I think it’s important to have an accountability partner (AP), someone you respect and trust. You have to be honest with yourself about who you’ll allow to give you advice and if that advice is useful to you. I think the best question one should ask him or herself when finding a true AP is this. Is this a relationship where equal give and take is involved? This way each party involved has an incentive to help the other while gaining something.
- On Being Honest with Yourself and Embracing the Journey: You also have to keep it real with yourself. Sometimes we look at a finished product and don’t see the work that was put in, in the background. We should be searching for the journey that gets us there. Remain humble. It’s easy to get restless during the journey and just want immediate success. There has to be something to look forward to and appreciate. The journey and struggle gives us that.
- On Inspiration: It’s a great idea to keep watching those who inspire you. Talk to them about their struggles or research their backgrounds and learn their stories. Really we should draw inspiration from everything around us, good and bad.
- On Having Confidence and Trusting Yourself: We also have to learn to have more confidence in our work. The way to do that I think is by practicing and accepting feedback from people you know, and don’t know. And the ones you don’t know don’t really have a reason to lie to you.
Hmmm something for all of us to think about as we’re planting seeds and manifesting the life we want. I thought those were some pretty good points that she made.
Personally I’ve for sure learned during this time of reflection that it’s clear that my dating life has provided me with absolutely no satisfaction at all, thus far. Lol. Not really funny. But I wanna try something different, by allowing my purpose to fulfill me. So fuck love for now. 😳😳
I would love for you to share your thoughts. Do you agree with my friend? Did you find anything that resonated with you and did any of you find yourself in the midst of deep reflection going into 2017 or thereafter?
Also I wanna know how you guys are handling staying motivated while working on manifesting a better life for yourself?
And as always, if you liked this post, like it, love it, comment on it, and/or share it if you found it useful.